Performance Conversations- Start With The Endgame In Mind

Good afternoon.

Earlier this week, an industry peer who works for a mid-sized west coast operator reached out, wrestling with how to deliver feedback to a leader who was underperforming.  

She asked specifically: "Does this warrant a write-up?"

My response: "What's the endgame here?"

Her response: "I don't know."

As we talked, she realized she aimed to help this director tap into her untapped potential—learning and growing, not shutting down.

That realization reframed not just what she’d say, but how she’d deliver it.

Because let's be honest for a second here.  There are multiple ways to address performance gaps and opportunities.  Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer that these issues should be addressed promptly, head-on, and with consistency.

But every situation is different, and as a leader, you always need to be thinking about your endgame and what's the best (legally and ethically) path to get there.

This is something I see a lot of leaders struggle with and often overlook completely.  And it results in high potential people leaving and low potential culture killers staying too long.

Start with the Endgame

Before composing your message, decide why you’re having the conversation:

• Is it evaluative—“You’re not cutting it, and if nothing changes, next steps will follow”?
• Or developmental—“I believe in your potential. What’s holding you back, and how can we work through it?”

These are two sharply different paths, each demanding different tone, tools, and tactics.

Why It Matters

• If your endgame is about performance improvement, you lean into coaching techniques, active listening, and growth-oriented feedback.
• If it’s about performance consequences, clarity, boundaries, and next steps become primary—but still delivered with professionalism and empathy.

Backed‑by‑Research Tactics to Keep You Effective Today

1. Growth‑Oriented Coaching & Feedback

Leverage frameworks that integrate both coaching and feedback—like the growth‑oriented coaching and feedback model. It combines structured guidance (coaching) with supportive, actionable feedback using approaches like SBI (Situation‑Behavior‑Impact) to build trust and personal relevance. It’s tailored, regular, and respectful of diverse backgrounds and needs, which enhances learning and retention.

2. Use the GROW Model

GROW—Goal, Reality, Options, Will—is a time-tested coaching structure. You help the leader clarify goals, understand their current state, explore options, and commit to action. It shifts the dialogue from prescription to partnership, aligning well with a developmental endgame.

3. Clarify Paths via Path–Goal Theory

The path–goal theory reminds leaders to adapt their approach to the situation: directive when clarity is needed, supportive when morale is low, participative when engagement is key, and achievement‑oriented when confidence is high. Match your style to the leader’s needs to clear the way to success.

4. Set Specific, Challenging Goals + Feedback Loops

Locke & Latham found that when goals are specific and challenging, performance improves—much better than vague “do your best” targets. Combine that with regular outcome and process feedback loops, and you maintain clarity, momentum, and motivation.

5. Encourage Feedback‑Seeking Culture

Leaders who cultivate a learning leadership style—encouraging feedback‑seeking and modeling use of feedback—foster stronger development. When people ask, “What can I improve? How am I doing?” they’re more likely to grow.

6. Lean on Positive Feedback

Interestingly, research shows positive feedback has a measurable, favorable impact on performance, while negative feedback often doesn’t. Focus on reinforcing what’s working to build strength and confidence.

7. Build Continuous, Informal Feedback Habits

Formal reviews aren’t enough. Organizations that have shifted toward continuous, informal feedback—quick check‑ins tied to real work—report faster learning, less fear, and deeper trust. It normalizes growth and makes feedback part of everyday leadership.

8. Recognize and Avoid “Set‑Up‑to‑Fail” Syndrome

Harvard Business Review’s classic insight still rings true: when someone underperforms, managers often assume it’s the individual’s fault. Instead, step back—consider whether the leader was set up with unclear expectations, inadequate support, or biased judgment. That shift alone can change the dynamic.

Tactical Takeaways: What to Do Today

1. Define Your Endgame

Decide whether you’re coaching for improvement or signaling consequences.

2. Frame the Conversation

If developmental: start with belief in their capacity.

If evaluative: open with facts, then context.

3. Use the GROW Model

Ask: “What goal are we aiming for? Where are you now? What could you do differently? What will you commit to?”

4. Offer Specific Feedback Using SBI

Describe the Situation, the Behavior you observed, and the Impact—in neutral, clear language.

5. Highlight Strengths

Lead with what’s working. Pair critique with confidence.

6. Invite Their Viewpoint

Ask: “What’s getting in the way? What support would help?” Then actually listen.

7. Co-Create the Plan

Set clear, measurable goals together. Schedule short, regular follow-ups.

8. Monitor and Adapt Your Leadership Style

Use directive, supportive, participative, or achievement-oriented approaches based on their needs.

9. Normalize the Journey

Make feedback and growth part of the regular rhythm—not just reserved for performance reviews.

Why It Matters

• You’re leading high-stakes, regulated environments. One conversation can ripple across resident care, culture, and staff morale.
• Doing performance management well, with emotional intelligence and developmental intent, sets a tone: we challenge, we support, we grow together.
• These research‑backed tactics aren’t feel‑good fluff—they’re tools you can deploy today to shift outcomes.

Bottom Line

Always start with the endgame. Let it guide how you frame the talk, what leadership style you tap into, and which tools or models you use. Whether you’re coaching potential or clarifying consequences, combining GROW, SBI, continuous feedback, strength‑based messaging, and self‑awareness will elevate your impact—starting now.

You’ll walk away from that meeting not just clearer, but more human, more effective, and more ready to help build stronger leaders.

You’ve got this.

🎧 Introducing the NHA Stand-Up Playlist

Music for the Ones Holding the Line

Only those of us who’ve done this job really get it.

The pressure. The fire drills (both literal and not). The quiet moments when you reset in your office before walking back out smiling.

Whether you’re heading into survey, just had a rough morning meeting, or need something to clear your head on the drive home — this playlist is for us.

This is the soundtrack for NHAs who:

• Stay late and show up early

• Protect their team like family

• Keep the building standing when no one else could

It’s got both moods:

 The “I’m walking into a dumpster fire and I will own this moment” energy.

 And the “Let’s shake it off and keep pushing forward” vibes.

 Click here to listen to the NHA Stand-Up Playlist

Want to add your go-to song?

Reply to this email or shoot me a message. I’ll keep adding your recs. This is our playlist — built by NHAs, for NHAs. No corporate nonsense. Just tracks that keep us moving.

Keep showing up.

Keep standing up.

We’ve got this.

Whenever you're ready, I can help you in a few ways.

1. Leverage our partnership with CEUSrEZ and purchase NAB-approved, online, self-paced, continuing education courses at a 20% discount here.
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4. Take our Salary Lens survey and gain access to the largest database of senior living and SNF leadership salaries in the industry.  Check it out here.

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Thanks for reading.  Have a wonderful day.

Kevin Goedeke, Publisher and Founder