|
No images? Click here  Together With: 
If there is one thing we had to say was the biggest challenge faced by our facilities every day, it would hands-down be staffing. Because of that, we are always on the lookout for ways we can help you deal with those challenges, and when we find the answer from one of partners, well, that’s a partner we really love. And when you, the SNF nurses and administrators that we talk to every day, tell us what a difference Tapestry has made in your lives, we want to share it. Tapestry can set your facility up with a full suite of the very latest technologies, show you in a very short amount of time how to use it, and make an immediate impact on your team and your residents. And they do it all at zero cost to your facility. Tapestry uses remote patient monitoring, active and passive digital vitals, artificial intelligence, and the industry’s most advanced predictive analytics to tell your nurses exactly where their patient priorities are on every shift – who needs your attention, why they need it, and what you need to do to keep that patient safe and out of the hospital. That’s empowering. That’s a sure way to deliver immediate staffing relief. If you want to hear it for yourself, from a Chief Nursing Officer who has solved those same challenges with Tapestry, click here. And when you are ready to put their technology to work for you and your patients, check out TapestryHealth.com, or call, text or WhatsApp 845.694.7288 Good morning. Let’s talk about a situation I see in buildings everywhere. A coaching client recently shared something with me that hit close to home because I’ve watched versions of it play out dozens of times in skilled nursing, assisted living, and CCRCs. They stepped into a new building as the Administrator. Within weeks, staff gravitated to them—because they felt seen, heard, and respected. They’d ask questions, share concerns, and look for support. Nothing unusual. In fact, that’s exactly what should happen when leadership is visible and approachable. But instead of seeing it as a win for the building, the DON took it as a threat. Private comments like “everyone thinks you’re the problem” and “the doctors are mad you called them” started flying. And in the background, the team was splitting into two camps: clinical vs non-clinical. Only two months into the job, and the Administrator already felt caught in a tug-of-war. If this sounds familiar, here’s exactly how I coach someone through it—step-by-step.
1. Start with your own clarity Before you ever touch the situation, get brutally clear on what’s actually happening. Write down:
Then define your desired future state in one simple sentence. Something like: “We present a united leadership front, staff feel safe speaking up, and clinical/non-clinical teams operate as one building—not two factions.” And ask yourself honestly:
If you skip this part, you walk into the conversation already defensive. Clarity protects you from that.
2. Name the leadership problem—not the personality This isn’t “a difficult DON.” This is:
When you frame it as a leadership pattern instead of a personality flaw, you show up calmer, clearer, and in control.
3. Plan a structured 1:1 with the DON Block 60–90 minutes. No interruptions. No hallway conversations. You walk in with three core messages:
Then use SBI + Curiosity. Situation – Behavior – Impact Example: “In the last couple of months, when staff have come to me with questions and I’ve answered them, you’ve later told me that ‘the whole team thinks I’m the problem’ or that physicians are upset I reached out. When that happens, it creates uncertainty about how you want me to support the team, and it signals misalignment to staff.” Then ask: “Help me understand what’s most frustrating for you in these situations.” Listen. Reflect. Stay steady. This is where the breakthrough usually starts.
4. Co-create leadership lanes Shift the tone from “me vs you” → “us vs the problem.” Together, define:
A simple script you can use: “You own clinical operations. I’m responsible for safety, culture, and outcomes. I never want to undercut you. Let’s build a playbook we both believe in.” After the meeting, send a brief summary email so the agreements stick.
5. Address the ‘everyone thinks…’ comments Vague accusations are leadership poison. Say this calmly in the meeting: “When I hear ‘everyone thinks you’re the problem,’ I can’t take action on that. Going forward, can we agree to be specific—who said what, and when—so we can address real issues, not general perceptions?” If she uses it again later: “I’m open to addressing concerns, but I need specifics to act. Who exactly is expressing this?” This sets a clean boundary without aggression.
6. Reunify the team into one building Right now you have “her nurses” and “your people.” You need one building. Do this by:
Research is clear: teams operate better when leadership sends one message, not two competing narratives.
7. Reset expectations with staff—without throwing her under the bus Staff need to see the new standard. Use a steady script when they bring you concerns: “Thanks for trusting me with this. Because it’s clinical, we need [DON] involved. Have you spoken with her yet? If not, let’s think through how to do that together.” If they say they’re afraid to approach her: “I hear you. That’s not okay, and I’m addressing it directly with her. I won’t ignore it, but we’ll go through the right channels.” You protect the culture while maintaining leadership integrity.
8. Put communication rhythms in place Consistency is what rebuilds trust. Put in:
Small, steady touches repair more damage than one big “reset meeting.”
9. If she doesn’t shift, escalate appropriately If after clear agreements, coaching, and time she continues to:
…it’s time for formal performance management. Document everything. Bring HR in early. Not to retaliate—but to safeguard residents and staff. Sometimes development works. Sometimes accountability is the only option.
10. Guard your own leadership brand Through all of this, you need to show up as:
A simple weekly reflection:
If the answer is yes, then even if the situation is messy, you’re playing the long game and building a leadership reputation that follows you for the rest of your career. If you need help working through your own leadership dynamics, reach out. here to help.
A Word from our Community
We're looking to build our next tool and solutions for NHAs and Senior Living Leaders. Tell us what to build that will help you be a better leader and operator.
The NHA Stand-Up Playlist Whether you’re bracing for survey, rebuilding next month’s schedule from scratch, or just need a mental reset — we got you. The NHA Stand-Up Playlist is built by NHAs, for NHAs. Tracks that lift you up, fire you up, or just let you breathe. 
Whenever you're ready, I can help you in a few ways.
Forward this newsletter, and we might give them a free coffee for signing up! Enjoy reading our newsletter? Forward this edition to a colleague and friend, and we will send five randomly selected new subscribers a free coffee using Thnks.
Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day. Kevin Goedeke, Publisher and Founder
|
