How to deliver feedback that drives positive behavior change

Together With

Good morning.

Leadership is influence. But if your coaching sounds like “Don’t do that” or “Be better,” you’re not leading—you’re guessing.

Alex Hormozi hit the nail on the head in a recent podcast where he described a now-classic failure of feedback. An employee was consistently acting like a jerk. Leaders told him to “cut it out,” “be more professional,” and “treat people better”—but nothing changed. Because those aren't directions. They're headlines without an article.

When Alex got involved, he changed the strategy: Here’s what being a jerk looks like. Here’s what we expect you to do instead. It wasn’t about policing personality—it was about giving the person tactical clarity on how to show up better.

Now, let’s bring that down to a more familiar scenario in our world of leadership

Elevate Your Leadership

The Scenario: The Dining Manager Spiral

There’s a Dining Services Manager. Lately, resident satisfaction has dropped. Food’s coming out cold. Servers are tense. Residents feel rushed. You’ve heard it from staff, families, and residents. You’ve seen it yourself.

You sit the manager down and say:

"We need a more professional atmosphere in the dining room. Let’s elevate the resident experience."

They nod. You nod. The meeting ends.

And nothing changes.

Why? Because “be more professional” is vague, soft, and unmeasurable. It’s the leadership version of saying, “Try harder.” It sounds like coaching—but it’s not.

Not until you get tactical.

The Core Lesson: Tactics Over Platitudes

Leadership isn’t about high-level suggestions. It’s about specific, observable behavior.

Vague Feedback:

Be more professional.
Be more respectful.
Stop being a jerk.

Tactical Coaching:

When a resident complains, stop rolling your eyes—make eye contact, listen fully, and thank them for their feedback. The next day, you or someone on your team writes that resident a handwritten thank-you card, acknowledging their input and explaining how it helped improve service.
Greet each resident by name when they enter the dining room. If you don’t know their name—learn it.
Never raise your voice or act frustrated, even if a resident becomes upset. Lower your tone to calm the room. Frustrated or not—smile when addressing complaints. Your demeanor sets the temperature.
Time how long it takes each plate to go from being plated to leaving the kitchen. It should never exceed 30 seconds. Why? Because hot food matters. Period.
Before walking away from a table, every server should ask: “Is there anything else I can do for you at the moment?” No one should be left waving for help.

These aren’t just behaviors—they’re benchmarks. Being tactical means expectations can be met, measured, and managed.

You can count:

How many thank-you cards were sent.
How many complaints came in (or didn’t).
How often plates are delayed in the pass.
Whether servers ask every table if they need anything else before leaving.

You can observe a dining shift and audit the behaviors.

This level of clarity isn’t controlling—it’s empowering. It gives both the team and the leader a clear, fair framework to work within. It creates coaching opportunities grounded in what’s real, not what’s “felt.”

Even the softest aspects of leadership can be broken down into tactical, measurable behaviors.

Final Thought: Influence Is in the Details

If you're coaching people with vague platitudes, you're building culture on sand. Authentic leadership—the kind that moves teams, protects dignity, and improves outcomes—lives in the details.

Tactical clarity is how you transform feedback from a conversation into a standard.

Next time you find yourself about to say “Be more professional” or “Don’t be a jerk,” stop.
Break it down.
Say what you want to see.
And say it in a way that can be measured.

Because the team can’t hit a target they can’t see—and you can’t lead if you won’t define what winning looks like.

Partners We Love

Together with TapestryHealth

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Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day.

Kevin Goedeke, Publisher and Founder